Sunday, February 15, 2009

Getting back on the horse

Well, it has been quite a while since my last post. I guess you could say I had a little "set back". After another switch in meds; a major depressive episode and a two week hiatus from work, I am beginning to realize that at some point these medications just seem to stop working (at least for me, anyway). Based on this, I have come to the decision that I do not want to take these antidepressants anymore. I am going to have to rely on other, more natural methods. Besides, the withdrawals are horrendous - I am dealing with the lack of Cymbalta as I write this and hope to God that I am going to make it through the upcoming work week with some sense of sanity:)

So, it's back on the horse I go. Dealing with my life and it's responsibilities drug free; on my own. I can do this. Well, I guess I have to. I'm sure my psychiatrist will not be to excited for me - but I gotta try and tackle this thing once and for all. I spoke with a herbalist who suffers from bipolar disorder and she told me that she has not taken medication in 2 years. She recommended that I take a good multivitamin, vitamin D and DHA (in the form of fish oil). I have doing that for about 2 weeks and it does seem to make the withdrawals less unbearable. I plan on keeping it up and see how it goes.

In the meantime, I will be getting my speech ready for my psych as to why I am not going on another mind altering drug. I just don't want to be lifted up to this grandiose state of mind only to have it all come crashing down upon me like some horrible nightmare! When the medication wears off, I feel like Neo in the Matrix when he finds out that his whole life as he knew it was really an illusion - not a fun feeling at all.

The journey continues....

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